In Part 1 I covered my mental angst about going to a party with a woman that is not my ideal match. Here the dating log entry continues…
SHOULD I STAY OR DO I GO?
I am not sure why I was uncomfortable. Maybe it was just because this would be the first time in two decades I would go to social gathering as a single man. Maybe I was embarrassed to be Fannie’s date since I am a half-step out of her league. Maybe it is because it is all uncharted territory for me after an 18 year marriage in which I was socially and sexually repressed. Whatever the reason, something about going to that party with her just didn’t feel right.
I asked a couple of friend-girls about this and got their input on what I should do. They both said my uneasy feeling was my inner voice was trying to tell me something, and that I should listen. They both said I am not ready yet because of all the emotional baggage I am dealing with right now. They both said to trust my gut. Also, why waste time with someone you are not genuinely attracted to and fully interested in?
On my POF profile I clearly say that I am looking to meet new people. I need friends of my own that are not part of my old life. Isn’t Fannie giving me exactly what I am asking for? Wouldn’t it be close minded of me to not go? Didn’t I just vent about unrealistic women who are waiting for Prince Charming to come riding in their living room and are too close minded to give men a fair chance?
It was a hell of a dilemma. By brain knew that the right thing to do was to take my own advice–the same advice I have given many women over the past few weeks–and that is to get out there and start shoveling some hay looking for that needle. Get out there and start making some friends and building a new social life. If I didn’t go then I would fall right in line with the women at singlegirlproblemdotcom and soon2becatlady.com … going through the motions only.
I am not a chick dammit! Going to the party was the right thing to do.
And yet I was still very uncomfortable….
There was only one solution: Alcohol. Lot’s of alcohol. I literally loaded my vehicle with bourbon, scotch, and beer and headed out.
What happened when I got there? I had a delightful time. The alcohol made my over-analytical brain shut up and I was able to just enjoy the moment. The female to male ratio was 4 to 1, and I soaked up every single ounce of female attention I could get. Once again proving that I am lonely and in need of friends of my own.
MORAL OF THE STORY
The relentless pursuit of perfection is an admirable quality. But sometimes perfection isn’t an option. Sometimes, in the real world, you have to accept when things aren’t perfect but good enough. Eat the meat and throw away the bones as we say down South.
Is that settling? No. You are not settling until you stop looking. Giving a person a fair chance to see if there is more than meets the eye is not settling.
I have many observations from the night, but those will have to wait for another day, for another post.