How Good is Good Enough? (Pt. 2 of 2)

In Part 1 I covered my mental angst about going to a party with a woman that is not my ideal match. Here the dating log entry continues…


I am not sure why I was uncomfortable. Maybe it was just because this would be the first time in two decades I would go to social gathering as a single man. Maybe I was embarrassed to be Fannie’s date since I am a half-step out of her league. Maybe it is because it is all uncharted territory for me after an 18 year marriage in which I was socially and sexually repressed. Whatever the reason, something about going to that party with her just didn’t feel right.

I asked a couple of friend-girls about this and got their input on what I should do. They both said my uneasy feeling was my inner voice was trying to tell me something, and that I should listen. They both said I am not ready yet because of all the emotional baggage I am dealing with right now. They both said to trust my gut. Also, why waste time with someone you are not genuinely attracted to and fully interested in?

On my POF profile I clearly say that I am looking to meet new people. I need friends of my own that are not part of my old life. Isn’t Fannie giving me exactly what I am asking for? Wouldn’t it be close minded of me to not go? Didn’t I just vent about unrealistic women who are waiting for Prince Charming to come riding in their living room and are too close minded to give men a fair chance?

It was a hell of a dilemma. By brain knew that the right thing to do was to take my own advice–the same advice I have given many women over the past few weeks–and that is to get out there and start shoveling some hay looking for that needle. Get out there and start making some friends and building a new social life. If I didn’t go then I would fall right in line with the women at singlegirlproblemdotcom and … going through the motions only.

I am not a chick dammit! Going to the party was the right thing to do.

And yet I was still very uncomfortable….


There was only one solution: Alcohol. Lot’s of alcohol. I literally loaded my vehicle with bourbon, scotch, and beer and headed out.

What happened when I got there? I had a delightful time. The alcohol made my over-analytical brain shut up and I was able to just enjoy the moment. The female to male ratio was 4 to 1, and I soaked up every single ounce of female attention I could get. Once again proving that I am lonely and in need of friends of my own.


The relentless pursuit of perfection is an admirable quality. But sometimes perfection isn’t an option. Sometimes, in the real world, you have to accept when things aren’t perfect but good enough. Eat the meat and throw away the bones as we say down South.

Is that settling? No. You are not settling until you stop looking. Giving a person a fair chance to see if there is more than meets the eye is not settling.

I have many observations from the night, but those will have to wait for another day, for another post.

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11 thoughts on “How Good is Good Enough? (Pt. 2 of 2)

  1. Seems like this is exactly what you are ready for: a bit of fun. You don’t need to be looking for the needle any time soon. Just enjoy the hay! (And as long as you’re honest about what you’re ready for, there’s no harm done).

  2. i”ve been through this with a male friend of mine — recently single after a 10+ year marriage where there was no physical contact for TEN years. He’s out looking for Ms Right.. I keep telling him to start with Ms. Right NOW… then move along to figure out what “right” is at this stage of life!

  3. Pingback: How Good is Good Enough? (Pt. 1 of 2) | Smooth ReEntry

  4. I have been divorced for exactly 1 year and 3 months and have not been on one single date. Yep, you read that right, not one fucking date. My Ex on the other hand, took up with a woman immediately after our divorce (probably the evening after our court appearance for all I know) and has been with her since. In fact, he is in love and has begun the process of building a life with her. IMHO I think he is out of his fucking mind. Oh I should probably mention my Ex and I are friends — we ended our marriage on a very amicable friendly note. For the most part, we speak almost everyday and yet I cannot listen to him drone on about his GF and the shit they do together. It’s not a jealousy thing, it’s a *ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND??? WHY ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP???” i have no issue with dating, casual sex and the like, but in terms of a committed relationship: FUCK NO! I’m done with a D.

    With that said, I really admire your drive and determination. Wish I had your optimistic outlook but I do not.

    BTW, I just nav’d and am now following *soon2bcatlady*s blog because she and I will be in good company. LOL!


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