Filed under Personal

Smooth’s Rules Put to Test

I have spent the last six months philosophizing and theorizing about various aspects of dating on this blog. Along the way I have developed certain dating “rules”. As my relationship with H ends, it occurs to me that it is a good time to see how some my rules worked when actually put into practice … Continue reading

Smooth Calls Out the Elephant

When Deliberately Delicious plays the Alphabet Game, she always parts on good terms by writing the nicest letters. My letters, on the other hand, seem to contain more…venom.  Dear H, God I hope you end up going out with whoever got under your skin. I hope you go out with him long enough that I have a chance … Continue reading

Staying on Target: Why I Blog

Staying on Target: Why I Blog

The stars are properly aligned for me to write a post on why I blog: The Smooth ReEntry blog is six months old now. A sixmonthivesary seems a fitting time to reexamine why I am here.  Additionally, as part of the 12 Step Challenge, I am to publically share my blogging goals.  Even more coincidentally, any second now I will … Continue reading

The Paramour Clause Revisted

The Paramour Clause Revisted

It’s in the judge’s hands now. The divorce agreement is signed, sealed, and delivered to the court. Now we are waiting for my state’s 30 day “cooling off” period to expire. The cooling off period makes couples wait thirty days before divorces are made official. Theoretically, this gives spouses time to “cool off”before make important … Continue reading

Busted: The Pinnacle of Awkward

Busted: The Pinnacle of Awkward

Yesterday I wrote about how I should have handled this awkward situation. Unfortunately, that telling was merely a fantasy I only wish were true. Today I confess what actually happened.  I should have known this was coming. How stupid of me to let my guard down and not be ready for this! I was just … Continue reading

Busted: Wife’s Coworkers See My Date

Busted: Wife’s Coworkers See My Date

They are staring at me. Intensely. My back is turned to them now. Although I can’t see them, I can still sense they are staring intensely at me, as if I’m some unimaginable monstrosity that has walked into their midst . As I talk to my date, I can practically feel their gazes burn holes in the back … Continue reading

Questioned by a Leggy Slut

Questioned by a Leggy Slut

Q&A with Off Go the Panties and Smooth. P: What is your favorite mythological villain (or group of villains) and why? S: Sirens. To me, sirens represent women with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Women with BPD are kryptonite to men going through mid life crises. Just as sailors are powerless to resist the enchanting songs of … Continue reading

Random and Entertaining Facts about Smooth

Random and Entertaining Facts about Smooth

Eleven random facts about Smooth: 1) I wear Crocs. I know they aren’t cool but I do it anyway. No, I haven’t given up on life. They are comfortable and dry fast. Screw you world, I know what you think and I’m wearing them anyway. In public. 2) I am scared to dance. Mortified. It is … Continue reading

When is a Date a Date?

When is a Date a Date?

There is a large contingency of women in our country who don’t know when a date is a date. Oh, I wish I was joking. I truly do. I don’t pretend to understand the phenomenon, I can only report its existence. Gentlemen, you too need to be aware of this should you wish to avoid … Continue reading

Do Women Get Friend-zoned?

Do women get friend-zoned? If so, why don’t we ever read about it? My personal opinion is that women do, in fact, get friend zoned. Believe it or not I have put women in the friend-zone. The conditions are ripe for me friend-zoning a woman when she is still emotionally connected to different guy. When … Continue reading

Smooth’s Friendzone Countermeasures ~ Part 2

Today I make good on my promise to deliver effective countermeasure tactics to a friend-zone attack. The tactics do not work unless you fully understand and believe with all your heart that anything is better than being friend-zoned. Anything. The friend-zone is hell on earth. It should be avoided at all cost. Okay guys, here … Continue reading

Redflagged and Banished to the Friendzone

Redflagged and Banished to the Friendzone

Next week is friend-zone week here at the Smooth Reentry Blog. That’s right, all next week will be dedicated to discussing the hated friendzone. It will be friend-zone discussion galore! Next week I’m going to publish, what I believe to be, my best written post to date. It is on the subject of unfriending on … Continue reading

The 16 Commandments Saved My Man Pride

Some of you may have noticed I added a link for “The Sixteen Commandments of Poon” to my blogroll. Hopefully you have also noticed that the content is offensive and not in keeping with my normal posts. Yes, I come across as bitter and jaded at times, most bloggers do, but I am not one … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome Part III: It Begins

This is Part 3 in the the story of the time I chose between a steak and a threesome. Here are links to Part 1 and Part 2. THE PLAN As the big day arrives, all preparations are made according to plan. The plan is that I will cook and bartend while Thumper entertains Bambi … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome: Which Would You Choose?

This is not one of my philosophical questions du jour. Today I will tell you the story of how I had to choose between a delicious steak or a threesome with two beautiful women. I’m not joking–I literally had to choose. For realz. I know! A gut wrenching decision right? I mean, that is a … Continue reading

More Tips on Dating with a Pet

Today I offer more tips on how to keep your pets from chasing away men. Click here to view yesterday’s post. 5) DON’T KISS THE DOG – As I have already confessed, I am guilty of making most of these mistakes personally. Kissing the dog is at the top of my embarrassing mistakes list. I … Continue reading

Are You Blinded By Love of Your Pet?

Years ago my Ex and I got our first dog, a young Boston Terrier. Like many young couples are prone to do, we treated the pet like our first child. We spoiled that animal rotten. Our reason for being was to tend to the animal’s every need and make it happy. We thought it was … Continue reading

The Woman Who Was Scared to Climax

Today’s question du jour is: why would a woman be scared to have an orgasm? Last night was my third date with a woman that has “exclusive” potential. How much do I respect her? Well, I slept in her bed last night and she did not touch my cock. Generally speaking, that is a red … Continue reading

Facebook: The Anti-Social Network.

This is a rant… OkCupid has a new site called Tallygram. Tallygram is a fairly cool app. It plugs in to Facebook and let’s you answer questions similar to OKC. I  enjoy comparing my answers to other FB users, and examining the corresponding friend/enemy percentages. [Incidentally, since I eat meat and like dogs over cats, … Continue reading

The Wagging Tail That Wasn’t There

The Wagging Tail That Wasn’t There

This is a personal journal entry with random thoughts as I spend Thanksgiving alone. As I’ve progressed through the process of separation continuing into divorce, women will frequently ask me, “How are you doing?”. My standard answer is that I’m doing fine. To which they reply “well, it’s coming” as they give me a look … Continue reading

What’s Going On with All The Siren Stuff?

When I think of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) women, I think of Sirens. That is what’s going on with all the siren stuff. I was perusing this site called Gettinbetter.com. It is maintained by a lady named Shari Shreiber, M.A. –I’m not sure what the “M.A.” stands for, but the stuff she is writing about … Continue reading