Creepy Finance Guy’s Dating Spreadsheet

Beware! For there is a horrendous monster lurking in the online dating world, victimizing helpless women. This is an evil man, so manipulative and calculating in his methods that you will be shocked. SHOCKED I say! The story is so surprising that it set the internet on fire and appeared on major news sites. This man should tracked down, castrated, and banned from ever dating again.

What did this man do that is so horrible? He kept an organized spreadsheet of his prospects.


Oh, and please understand that when I say this man is a”horrendous monster”, I am being as sarcastic as humanly possible!  This is exactly the type of thing is making me so bitter and jaded towards dating.

This man is a victim of an insane witch hunt! Thrown under the bus for being male! It is unfortunate that he didn’t have the skills of Brent Musburger to stand up for himself by skillfully sneaking in the last word. [Brent Musburger is a sports commentator who had the audacity to call a model beautiful. Has he no shame!?]

How did I find out about this story? Because I did a Google search for “online dating spreadsheets”. That’s right, I did a search for an Excel spreadsheet templates because I thought it might be smart to have a deliberate process when culling women I’m interested in dating.

I guess that makes me a horrendous monster too.

Why a Spreadsheet

I have previously written that when dating, until you find a trustworthy match fully committed to an exclusive relationship, that it is important to keep living your life and dating other people. I have also written that you can also date too many people, as the theory of declining marginal utility applies. I have even created a relationship evaluation tool to help evaluate relationships. Based on these assertions, it is only logical to try to be smart about which prospects to cull when focusing on a limited number of prospects. This was my logic in searching for the spreadsheet. To focus on quality and not quantity.

I freely admit that I am deliberate, over-analytical, and systematized. Much more so than the average person. That is just me. But does that make me an evil bastard? Do I deserve to be called a freak and worse things for having these opinions? Does making an effort to think through quality and not quantity make me an even worse asshole than a PUA player?

If I come home late one Wednesday night and decide I want a date on Friday, realizing my brain is probably fried from a long intense day at the office, is it really that bad of an idea to put a list in front of me to help spurn my brain back in gear? Is it bad that I want to be strategic about my options and ask the right girl out?–Because if I am juggling four women, but only have time and money to go on one date Friday night, it seems to me that I should put some effort into asking the right one out. But the fact I want to be tactical in my decision makes me a creepy freak.

This man who made the spreadsheet, “Dave”, is he really that evil because he created a log of his dates and wrote notes such as, “very pretty; sweet & down to earth/great personality; hope to see again soon.”? Is that really that awful?

As you can tell, the thought of some poor guy being hung in effigy for trying to stay organized makes me shudder.

For those of you who are not frightened away by this disgusting display of fembotulism, here is a link to the actual spreadsheet.

The Bright Side

I do find it discouraging that Huffington Post and others found this story newsworthy. But there is a bright side to this story too. In the comments of these posts many people came to Dave’s defense, including women. So that part of the story is very encouraging. It seems there are women who are just as annoyed by the over dramatic aspects of this as I am, and that is very encouraging. I love it when a feminist takes it upon herself to speak up for her entire gender, and then grounded women blessed with common sense stand up and point out that she isn’t speaking for them!

Here are links to the story:

via Deadspin, Finance Guys Keeps Incredibly Detailed Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet

via Jezebal, Creepy Finance Guy Just Trying to Be Organized

via Huffington Post: Financial Services Guy Uses Spreadsheet for Dating

Here is bonus link about women who systematized dating to play men for expensive dinners.


9 thoughts on “Creepy Finance Guy’s Dating Spreadsheet

  1. I agree, I don’t think this is creepy, it’s organized! This is perfect for all the Myers-Briggs “ST”s and totally something that I, as a woman, would do. Everyone online dating is thinking these very thoughts, what’s the difference if you are writing them down in addition? Great post.

  2. I can sympathize here! Trying to keep shit straight, especially when you’re talking to more than one person at a time, can be insane. I’d never do this, but I sympathize.

    That being said, never let anything like this get out. It makes people think you’re dehumanizing them.

  3. This is hilarious! I wrote a post about keeping a dating spreadsheet last spring. Honestly, if you have a few different people “on the go,” it’s not a bad idea 🙂

  4. One of the things the Internet 2.0 is bringing to light is that virtually all women are Church Ladies, not just the ones you meet in church. By that, I mean women will find the most ridiculously inane things to judge people over, a la Dana Carvey’s character on SNL. Everything becomes A CRISIS! OMG!! This is one example. When dealing with this kind of thing, it’s instructive to remember how men thought of women back before 1960s feminism and why they were perhaps more enlightened than we are. That’s also a good thought to bring with you when dating. It’s been said most men lead lives of quiet desperation; what’s unsaid is most women lead lives of loud hysteria.

  5. I don’t blame him personally. When the average man on a dating sites gets one response for every 25 messages he sends, it is no wonder. Sometimes I forget if I have contacted somebody before so naturally I don’t want to approach somebody a second time. I keep a list of people to contact in future, interesting profiles but haven’t got as far as a spreadsheet yet.

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