The 16 Commandments Saved My Man Pride

assholeSome of you may have noticed I added a link for “The Sixteen Commandments of Poon” to my blogroll. Hopefully you have also noticed that the content is offensive and not in keeping with my normal posts. Yes, I come across as bitter and jaded at times, most bloggers do, but I am not one of these guys drinking the Alpha or PUA Kool Aid. (At least, not 100%.) I am edgy but hopefully not offensive. Yet I have a link to one of their posts on my blogroll. Hopefully you are asking why!

Answer: Thinking about these 16 items helped keep me from getting played. 

One of the challenging parts of dating is getting emotionally synced with your love interest. Usually one person falls deeper than the other, or faster than the other. And if you are the one deeper than the other person, you are at risk of getting burned. Theoretically, if you play it cool for a while, your love interest will have time to come to his or her senses and catch up to you emotionally. But you have to be realistic in accessing whether they are going to catch up or not. This is when this Sixteen Commandments of Poon becomes useful for me. (Sorry Anna Hart, I know you just threw up in your mouth a little…)

I use it to think-through different aspects of the new relationship to see if it has potential, to see what my risks are, and to see if I am setting myself up to get burned.

Let me walk through an example I had with “H”, in which my spidey sense was telling me I was getting played:

1) Never say ‘I Love You’ first – Grade F . I did not use the L word with H, but I did say “I miss you” in a text. The silence of her reply was deafening.

2) Make her jealous – Grade B: She has shown signs of jealousy. That is a good sign.

3) You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority – Grade C. I was very focused on her. That is pressure to a woman early in a relationship.

4) Don’t play by her rules – Grade C. This is an area where the Alpha Male discussions are valid. Women want a man with backbone. I was too flexible in being accommodating to her schedule. I should have just said “well, we can’t go out then”, and let her wonder what I did instead. I made it too easy on her. It is sick that that these games are played, but it is the way of the universe.

5) Adhere to the golden ratio – Grade F. I am disgusted by myself that I was always the one to initiate contact. And she would literally skip over questions she did not feel like answering. I am disgusted with myself in this category.

6) Keep her guessing – Grade F. She said she was scared and wanted to feel safe, so I let her see all my cards. That takes all the intrigue and mystery out of the relationship. I want her to wonder what I’m doing as she is driving down the road. I goofed this one up.

7) Always keep two in the kitty – Grade C. I really did not take my own advice and juggle at least three like I knew I should. ARGH! I am mad at myself.

8) Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary – NA. I disagree with this. I hate men like this will not be one myself.

9) Connect with her emotions – Grade D.

10) Ignore her beauty – Grade D. I should have tossed in a neg with the compliments.

11) Be irrationally self-confident – Grade B.

12) Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses – Grade B

13) Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little – Grade B

14) Fuck her good – Grade F. The sex wasn’t that good. I did not rock her world as I like to do. I hate condoms. The worst necessary evil on the planet.

15) Maintain your state control – Grade C.

16) Never be afraid to lose her – Grade D.

In walking through the exercise it helped me clearly see that I was more interested in her than she was in me. It became obvious that she was taking me for granted, and that drastic steps had to be taken to regain her respect and restore my man pride.

In short, I made the mistake of doing what she asked and not playing the game. Everyone plays the game. When they trick you into believing they are not playing games, that means you are losing. Such was the case with me, and the Sixteen Commandments of Poon helped me see the error of my ways. Not because I think each item is a commandment set in stone, but because I think each item is an indicator of if the relationship contains mutual respect or not. I will write a less offensive questionnaire one of these days. But for now I suggest treating each item as a point of analysis, not as commandments.

13 thoughts on “The 16 Commandments Saved My Man Pride

  1. Yep, this is pretty offensive in terms of the game playing (and the ultimate purpose), but unfortunately there’s some truth in it too. When I’m getting to know you, I want to see your strengths and your confidence. But if you play obvious games like trying to make me jealous? See ya!

    • Jealousy works for men and women Delicious. We want what we can’t have. It just has to be done in a tasteful, subtle way. That is my two cents anyway.

      You might hate me after next weeks posts. 😦

  2. Yeah, I don’t really care for the original author of those 16 commandments and his blog but somewhere in all of that is some good advice to men. You just have to filter out the bull (and there is a lot of it). I think numbers 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 are very important. A man who is confident and in control of himself, not easily swayed by feminine emotions is very attractive. Good sex is a lot more important than most men seem to give credit to. For women, to find sex is easy. Really good sex? Not so much, and we tend to get attached to the men who give it to us! As far as saying I love you, I think its okay, but don’t say it too early on. Making her jealous is iffy. It depends on how you are doing it. Maybe it would be better to say let her imagination run wild a bit in that regard, don’t go blatantly trying to hurt her. I don’t really know that it is necessary to always be juggling women but at least give the impression that you COULD be if you wanted to. I think saying sorry when you are wrong is a good thing so I don’t really agree with that, but don’t OVER apologize. I don’t think you should ignore her beauty. I think when you are in a relationship you should let her know you think she’s beautiful but I don’t think you should let it make you act stupid, lol. Anyhow, that’s my quick rundown. 😉

    • Spot on! I love it!

      You are smart. Could you convert the 16 Commandments into a more moderate questionnaire? One that gives men an indication of whether they are chasing her off and/or getting played?

      I ask you because you seem to get it.

      Jealousy isn’t about trying to hurt her. If I go fishing and she isn’t invited, that is a form of jealousy, because she would rather spend time with me. Maybe there is a better term to use…but it isn’t about trying to hurt her.

      Again, spot on!

      • I’d have to think about how to convert that!! LOL I “get it” because I spent over 4 years reading and posting on some major “pua” boards, being one of the only females there, lol. 😉 I learned a lot about what and why men are doing this and their struggles.

        I think the jealousy part is really about making her realize that other women are interested in you, that you are a “catch”, or as I’ve heard it called “social proof”. Women, even though they are often reluctant to admit it, tend to see that other women are interested in a man and then it piques THEIR interest. They want to have the guy everyone else wants, to beat out the competition. It’s why when a man gets in a committed relationship suddenly it seems like there are all these females interested in him. It signifies his relationship worthiness or something.

        If I’m honest I have to admit there have been several times in my life where a guy was interested in me and I didn’t reciprocate until I heard some other girl say “he’s cute” or show interest in him. It suddenly brought him into my mind as mate potential.

        I wrote a post called From the Friend Zone to the End Zone and a little bit farther (or something like that, ha) awhile back that talks about how a guy I had in the “friend zone” for 3 years turned into someone I was having threesomes with after he and a girlfriend of mine started showing interest in each other. It was that little bit of jealousy I think that made me realize hey wait a minute I want his attention on ME.

        That’s why I advise men in the “friend zone” to not focus so much on that particular woman but to let her see him flirting with other girls. That will make her more interested than following her around like a lap dog.

        A woman you are in a relationship with already will be much less likely to become disinterested when she can see that other women would love to snag you up. It’s not so much about making her jealous as making her realize and appreciate what she has. When she sees or hears other women complimenting you or acting interested it makes her want to hold onto you tighter.

  3. I’ve been reading Red Pill posts all day, because I’m an obsessive person and I find this movement fascinating. I’m a relatively traditional gal and you may not care, but I’m still totally gonna share what I think of each rule. I take no offense from your post by the way and mean none from this.

    1) Never say ‘I Love You’ first – Wouldn’t work with me. I’d never say it first, because I see that as a traditionally male step.

    2) Make her jealous – I’m not a jealous person… at all. So making me jealous would require doing something to make me think he’s actually with someone else.

    3) You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority – Nope. Not gonna work. If it seems you’re out for only sex, then nah.

    4) Don’t play by her rules – Ugh. Fine. You’re right. I’d be turned off if I was feeling him out and he made himself too available.

    5) Adhere to the golden ratio – Yeah… I might initiate contact, but from what I understand of this whole “Red Pill” thing, this rule means physical as well and I’m not touchy feely enough for this one to apply. I’ll wear dress and pretty pink nail polish, but emotions sort of freak me out.

    6) Keep her guessing – He can keep me guessing about what he’s gonna do next, but if I’m not sure he’s interested, I’m gonna back off. That’s a traditional male role as far as I’m concerned. He’s gotta be clear on that one.

    7) Always keep two in the kitty – Early on, sure. If we’ve been dating for awhile, though, I’m going to assume I’m not enough and he’s not feeling it.

    8) Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary – No. I genuinely apologize when I’ve done wrong and expect in return, without begging.

    9) Connect with her emotions – Not totally sure what this is referencing, because I didn’t read the original rules and should be doing something other than reading blogs all night, but I don’t tend to be all that open on my emotions. As I said, touchy feely freaks me out.

    10) Ignore her beauty – Oh, that neg thing is a load of crap. I’m fine with the traditional male thing, but even subtly insulting me is cause for me to lose a phone number. Teasing is one thing, but I get enough of that catty stuff from women.

    11) Be irrationally self-confident – Yup. Love self-confidence.

    12) Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses – Agreed. Don’t lie, but don’t tell me your penis is 3 inches long (I didn’t even ask. Who does that?!?)

    13) Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little – Yup. Works for me.

    14) Fuck her good – Yeah… I realize this is a guide to getting laid, but I’m 25 and have only been with one person. I’m not playing hard to get. I am hard to get, because I’m super unsure of my bed skills.

    15) Maintain your state control – Didn’t read the article and not gonna. Going off context clues from your responses.

    16) Never be afraid to lose her – Good advice. Clingy freaks me out.

    There you have it. A gal’s take.

    • Wow! Thanks for the excellent reply.

      My only follow-up comment is that this isn’t all about getting laid. Next week is friend-zone week here at the Smooth ReEntry blog–and the reason I wrote an entire week’s worth of posts about the friendzone is I keep getting friendzoned after I get laid…but I do get laid, so that’s not what it is all about.

      I am new to the red-pill / manosphere realm and am still sorting out my own opinions. There is no authorized definitive central authority on these subjects, so even learning about Red Pill can be difficult.

      This I do know: there is a huge difference between a pickup artist (PUA) and Red Pill. The two are not synonymous at all.

      In fact, here is a term from the Monosphere Glossary :

      PLWCGLWTALW – Pathetic Losers Who Can’t Get Laid Without Tricking and Lying to Women.

      Also note that it describes so called PUA experts as people who are better at tricking men into following their system than actually getting laid themselves.

      Basically, I reject the blogs who twist Red Pill into being about getting laid. Those guys piss me off.

      Anyway, that is the only point I wanted to make. Again, great comments! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your take in a constructive way.

      • You’re welcome. You said you had a follow up question and you’re welcome to ask on here or my about me page.

  4. Haha – the first time I saw that Heartiste guys article, it didn’t inspire any direct visceral reaction, but I did wonder if his 16 tips were going to include, “Don’t make yourself sound like a pervy 13-year-old by using words like poon.” ☺

    Of course, the list (just like a lot of the PUA-style advice) is not without its strengths. He’s right that women don’t want to date the male equivalent of Overly Attached Girlfriend. At the same time, they don’t want someone who can’t see the forest despite the trees – Guys who think relationships succeed or fail based on things like who says “I love you” first, or that think “You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship.” … probably misattribute what’s really going wrong with them/women. Just sayin!

    On a side note, I checked out his blog again before writing this comment, and was surprised to see that the newest post (March 22) is just… unabashedly racist? Perhaps Mr. Heartiste missed the memo about moving past blind hatred of “blacks”, but it’s disturbing that the commenters seemed unphased (one guy even uses the phrase ‘darkies’… possibly even more repulsive than ‘poon’…). Guess my point is — glad his 16 commandments did you some good, but there has GOT to be some better gurus than this unapprised fool!!! For now, adding another category to the people who should never be allowed to give advice post, in his honor: Nameless, faceless Internet despots who dedicate countless hours to “enlightening” others on a blog, yet can’t be alpha enough to put their name on a damn thing they say ☺

    • Thanks for the reply Anna!

      Hey–I loved your article on Urban Dater this morning, but it wouldn’t let me comment for some reason. I was just saying that I would like to read more posts about Sam in the future. You are in a unique position to be able to objectively observe…

  5. Pingback: Dear Narcissist: Words of Futility | Smooth ReEntry

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