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Of Soap and Dysfunctional Communication

Of Soap and Dysfunctional Communication

Have you ever worked hard to communicate something important? With great effort you spend time agonizing over the perfect words to communicate your important thoughts. You carefully think through what you are going to say, choosing your words carefully…. When the big moment comes you pull it off and voice your thoughts precisely as intended. Uttering those words … Continue reading

10 Things I Hate about Star Trek

10 Things I Hate about Star Trek

Maybe “hate” is too strong a word, but there is no way an over-analytical mind like mine can watch as much Star Trek as I have without developing some pet peeves. “Pet Peeves” just doesn’t sound as good in a blog post title, so I’m going to stick with 10 things I hate about Star Trek. Enjoy. … Continue reading

Busted: The Pinnacle of Awkward

Busted: The Pinnacle of Awkward

Yesterday I wrote about how I should have handled this awkward situation. Unfortunately, that telling was merely a fantasy I only wish were true. Today I confess what actually happened.  I should have known this was coming. How stupid of me to let my guard down and not be ready for this! I was just … Continue reading

Questioned by a Leggy Slut

Questioned by a Leggy Slut

Q&A with Off Go the Panties and Smooth. P: What is your favorite mythological villain (or group of villains) and why? S: Sirens. To me, sirens represent women with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Women with BPD are kryptonite to men going through mid life crises. Just as sailors are powerless to resist the enchanting songs of … Continue reading

Star Trek: Evening the Odds

Star Trek: Evening the Odds

For over 20 years Star Trek fans could count on a consistent trend holding true: Even numbered Star Trek movies would be high quality, and odd numbered Star Trek movies would suck. In 2002 this trend was broken when an even numbered movie sucked; namely, Star Trek: Nemesis. Star Trek: Nemesis’s poor quality caused much … Continue reading

Onion News Takes Aim At Smooth / Trekkers

Yesterday I was critical of 2009’s Star Trek reboot movie, calling it too hokey. In the spirit of making fun of myself, I share with you this bit of sarcasm, aimed squarely at Trekkies and Trekkers like me, courtesy of Onion News. At least they agree with me that 2009’s Star Trek isn’t going to hold up … Continue reading

Worst Star Trek Episode Ever

Have you seen this video? This is the video the IRS spent $60,000 to make, supposedly in the interest of saving $1.5 million. Read more here. They have a long way to go before I’ll believe this thing saved anyone money! This is video is bad, but it might be better than Star Trek V…Umm…no, … Continue reading

Does this man know his own race?

To cap off Smooth Reentry Blog’s friend-zone week, I will ask a question that has puzzled me since I first saw this video: Does this man know is own skin color? Also, Starbucks must love this guy. Can you say “high strung”? This guy is funny though. This is one of those that gets funnier … Continue reading

When is a Date a Date?

When is a Date a Date?

There is a large contingency of women in our country who don’t know when a date is a date. Oh, I wish I was joking. I truly do. I don’t pretend to understand the phenomenon, I can only report its existence. Gentlemen, you too need to be aware of this should you wish to avoid … Continue reading

The Reverse Facebook Block

The Reverse Facebook Block

If the Smooth Reentry blog were to end today, its legacy will be introducing the world to the Reverse Facebook Block (RFBB). The Reverse Facebook Block is an outstanding concept all social media users should become familiar with. I know that is a bold statement to make, but the RFBB is nothing short of magnificent. … Continue reading

Don’t be a Can of Beans!

Don’t be a Can of Beans!

The past couple of day’s we’ve discussed advanced tactics to counter friendzone attacks. This covered situations when she tries to banish you to the friendzone. During that series we did not cover scenarios in which the man failed to make a move early. Why is that scenario so different? Because if you didn’t make a … Continue reading

Smooth’s Friendzone Countermeasures ~ Part 2

Today I make good on my promise to deliver effective countermeasure tactics to a friend-zone attack. The tactics do not work unless you fully understand and believe with all your heart that anything is better than being friend-zoned. Anything. The friend-zone is hell on earth. It should be avoided at all cost. Okay guys, here … Continue reading

Smooth’s Friendzone Countermeasures ~ Part 1

Alert! Incoming friend-zone missiles! Let’s just be friends You are in the friend lane You’re not ready yet Few things create more panic in a single man’s soul than the dreaded friendzone surprise attack. We would much rather be dog cussed, slapped, and beaten than to emasculated with the dreaded “let’s just be friends” speech. … Continue reading

Redflagged and Banished to the Friendzone

Redflagged and Banished to the Friendzone

Next week is friend-zone week here at the Smooth Reentry Blog. That’s right, all next week will be dedicated to discussing the hated friendzone. It will be friend-zone discussion galore! Next week I’m going to publish, what I believe to be, my best written post to date. It is on the subject of unfriending on … Continue reading

The Sadly Ironic Bachelor

Neckties, tissues, love-notes, and self-respect; all things girls on The Bachelor lost down their cleavage this season. Woe! Slow down a minute–Smooth, YOU watched THE BACHELOR? — Quite possibly the most corny, most cheesy, sappiest, gayest show on the entire planet? Yes–yes I am saying that I watched The Bachelor this season. I get the … Continue reading

Which James Bond is Best in Bed?

Which James Bond is Best in Bed?

Which James Bond would be the best lover? There are just some enduring questions in life that demand exploration, and this is one of them. While writing about Bond films previously, I embedded video of a round table discussion considering the important question of, Which James Bond would go down on her? I think the … Continue reading

How My Heart Aches for Thee, Bro

I’ve been going about this all wrong. I deserve true love that can be depended on. Why have I been searching or that special woman? It’s an act in futility. With the advent of online dating, women can get online anytime they want and get a young stud like ordering fries off a menu. They … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome Part IX: Epilogue

This is the final post in the Steak or Threesome series. Click here to start at the beginning. To say I am disappointed that the threesome didn’t happen is the understatement of the century. I was SO CLOSE. I had it within reach, yet it only teased me and slipped out of my grasp right … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome Part VIII: C-3PO

This is Part 8 of the Steak or Threesome series. Click here to start at the beginning. I am sitting at the dinner table gloating over this wonderful moment. Just sitting there, looking at two beautiful women, about to eat the best steak ever. When we are done eating, I am going to take them … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome Part VI: Torn

This is Part 6 in the story of the time I chose between steak or a threesome. Click here to start at the beginning of the series. FRAZZLED Back in the kitchen am am frazzled as shit. I am in charge of making dinner and my brain is letting me down. There are two women … Continue reading

Streak or Threesome Part V: They Kiss

This is Part 5 of the Steak or Threesome Series. Click here to start at the beginning. As I walked back and forth from the kitchen to the den it was like I stepping through an interdenominational portal into another world. A world in where the most forbidden desires of men can become reality. It … Continue reading

Steak or Threesome Part III: It Begins

This is Part 3 in the the story of the time I chose between a steak and a threesome. Here are links to Part 1 and Part 2. THE PLAN As the big day arrives, all preparations are made according to plan. The plan is that I will cook and bartend while Thumper entertains Bambi … Continue reading