Questioned by a Leggy Slut

The Fisherman and The Siren

The Fisherman and The Siren (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Q&A with Off Go the Panties and Smooth.

P: What is your favorite mythological villain (or group of villains) and why?

S: Sirens. To me, sirens represent women with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Women with BPD are kryptonite to men going through mid life crises. Just as sailors are powerless to resist the enchanting songs of the siren, the middle aged man is powerless to resist a skilled manipulative temptress with no sense of self. 

P:  If you were locked in a room with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, who would you kill first?

S: Kim Kardashian would die first because Paris Hilton has the better ass.  Paris looks less plasticy too. One caveat: If froo-froo dogs are with them and they are baby talking constantly, everyone will die when my head explodes. Therefore, in that scenario, it is difficult to say which one would die first.

P: What is the biggest hurdle you still have to overcome before you reach your ultimate bliss?

S: My lack of self discipline. For example, I am blogging this second instead of working on things that pay my bills.

Crawfish Boil

Crawfish Boil (Photo credit: germuska)

P: If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?

S: Boiled crawfish and Heiniken beer. 

PWhat’s your wildest non-sexual fantasy?

S: To dress up as a cowboy at Halloween. When I do something, I do it right. I mean, look at this blog series…I am supposed to take a few minutes to accept a chain letter, and here I am devoting multiple posts to it. That is because when I do something, I do it right or not at all.

For this reason I have never participated in Halloween. Because if I am going to dress up as a character, I want it to be a damn good costume, or no costume at all.

So that is my fantasy. To be a cowboy at a killer Halloween party.

I want the real shit too–not some Roy Rogers gay BS costume. I’m talking straight off the Wyoming ranch, wrangler, authentic equipment. Complete with sweat stained hat, big belt buckle, dusty boots, and a Colt 851 in the holster. Chaps are iffy–unfortunately the gay community has stolen that icon from the cowboys–but I definitely want spurs. I want Clint Fucking Eastwood spurs.

In the fantasy I slowly mosey up to bar, drink whiskey, and think about whether I want to take the catwoman or the vampire home.

Damn I love westerns…

P: If you were denied the opportunity to ever write again, what would you do to replace it?

S: Host a podcast that interviews bloggers.

P: Share a recurring dream that has you intrigued but also a bit frightened.

S:surprise visit the aforementioned siren. I would pop in and strut like a peacock in front of her, her friends, and her new boyfriend. It is frightening because I am tempted to actually do it. It is hard to explain why I am tempted. The other night my date said to me, “You antagonize other people to define your safe space and define your boundaries”. I think it has something to do with that….

P: If you were invited to be in a porno, would you?  Who would you like to have as your co-star? 

S: I would never do a porno. Would I make a video that I retained complete control of? Yes. I would want to do it with an insatiable slut.

P: What’s the most dangerous thing you do on a regular basis?

S: Meet random chicks of the internet, take them to my house, and sleep with them.

It is dangerous for multiple reasons. 1) Even though I have every right to date, the smart thing to do is wait until my divorce in final. Angering the Soon-To-Be-Ex could complicate things. 2) Sleeping with them is trolling for diseases. The smart thing to do is assume they are lying about cleanliness until I get to know them better. 3) They could be psycho stage 5 clingers, and bringing them to my house is dangerous.

I had a friend die when his girlfriend’s psycho ex boyfriend shot him dead.

I’m probably not as careful as I should be.

Historic cabins at Twin Lakes

Historic cabins at Twin Lakes (Photo credit: Jerry W. Lewis)

P:  If time stood still, where would you want to be and with whom?

S: In a cabin close to Glenwood Springs, CO. It is early fall, next to a mountain stream, with the soothing sounds of running water. It is around 9:00 in the morning and I am drinking a delicious cup of coffee. Just me, my dog, and a damn good book.

P: What’s your all-time favorite post on your blog? 

S: The Reverse Facebook Block.

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5 thoughts on “Questioned by a Leggy Slut

  1. Pingback: Random and Entertaining Facts about Smooth | Smooth ReEntry

  2. Pingback: Did you Just Call me a Liebster? | Smooth ReEntry

  3. I’m really disappointed to hear that you would not be in a porno. I’ve been working out every day for the sole purpose of being ready to be in a Cougar porno. I kinda was thinking you would make a fun co-star!

    I love your answers, BTW. I have to agree with you that stranger sex is dangerous–and I do it too. I wonder if the danger is part of the draw? I definitely want to learn more about the Stage 5 clingy piece. Have you written about that and I’ve missed your post?

    Thank you for responding to this chain-letter that I sent you. I appreciate the effort that went into it.

    • I enjoyed writing them. I have not written about Stage 5 Clingers very much. Luckily I do requests, so I’ll let you know when I do.

      And yes, I really did have a friend who was shot dead by his GF’s ex. That was on my mind yesterday actually…

      re: Porno: Send me samples of your previous work and I’ll reconsider it. 😉

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