The Reverse Facebook Block

Smooth Reentry is going all out on the graphics on this one. Reverse FB Block. Get it?

The graphic artists at Smooth Reentry are going all out with the graphics on this one. The Reverse FB Block. Get it? (Source: Smooth Reentry Blog)

If the Smooth Reentry blog were to end today, its legacy will be introducing the world to the Reverse Facebook Block (RFBB). The Reverse Facebook Block is an outstanding concept all social media users should become familiar with.

I know that is a bold statement to make, but the RFBB is nothing short of magnificent. Absolutely positively outstandingly magnificent. I honestly didn’t realize how good it was when I introduced it in The Art of the Facebook Block post, and I knew it was pretty darn good then.

Even the prestigious Urban Dictionary recognizes the value of the RFBB and credits your very own Smooth Reentry blog for pioneering this technique.

(Of course, it is pure coincidence that Urban Dictionary published the RFBB definition just as this post is being written.)

The RFBB is the ICBM of disassociation options; more severe than the hide, the traditional block, or the frequently used unfriend  features. The RFBB trumps them all.

Is-it-time-to-unfriend-them-on-facebook

Source: coolmaterial.com

Although not intuitive, the RFBB is simple, elegant, yet devilishly effective. Plus, the WTF reactions from your jaded love interests are priceless.

What is a Reverse Facebook Block? Simply put, a RFBB is when, at your specific request, a FB friend blocks you. That’s right! At your prompting, THEY BLOCK YOU.

Let’s assume you don’t want to see someone on FB ever again. The problem using the traditional unfriend and block  features, is that you can always change your mind. In fact, after blocking them, every time you go into settings their face will be there staring back at you. From there it is a simple mouse click to change your mind and unblock them.

That might be fine for those of you who don’t have an impulsive bone in your body. The rest of us are going to unblock, click the name, and check them out. Especially if we’ve had a couple of judgment impairing drinks. It is just so tempting yet easy, making cyberstalking your Ex almost impossible to resists.

The RFBB fixes that. By turning the tables and having the friend in question block you, they then get to look at your face each time they go into their settings. They can’t escape it. Your happy face will be smiling right at them–looking all happy and content. It is a thing of shallow game playing beauty.

Let me say this one more time for those of you who need a little extra time: The RFBB is when you contact a person, and have them block you in their FB settings.

EXAMPLE: This is a real phone conversation I just had with a woman I was dating who tried to friend-zone me:

Smooth: Hey H, are you in front of your computer? 

H: Sure am. 

S: Do me a favor an look at my profile on Facebook. Do you see that little dropdown menu to the right of the activity log? 

H: Yes. It says, see friendship, poke, add to interests lists

S: That’s it. Press Block please. 

H: Huh? 

S: The Block button. I want you to block me. 

H: Ummm…………………….

S: Hello? Do you still see the block button? 

H: Yes. But wait, what are we doing? You want me to block you? 

S: Yes. Anytime you are ready…

H: You don’t want to be my FB friend? Why don’t you press block yourself?

S: Because if I block you, I’ll see you every time I’m in my settings and will be tempted to unblock you. This way I’ll never see you on FB again. It’s called the Reverse Block. People do it all the time…Actually, it’s kind-of the textbook standard response to being friendzoned…

H: Ummm……………………………….

S: So……….Hello? Did the call drop?  

H: I’m still here.…I’m just trying to understand. You don’t want to be FB friends anymore? 

S: Correct. You friend-zoned me. I’d rather not tease myself. Do you mind pressing the block button? 

H: Okay……there. You are blocked.

S: Great! I appreciate it. Are you going over do Doug’s Saturday night?

H: Yes, I’ll be there for a little while. But wait, you just unfriended me on Facebook…

S: Yep. It’s not a big deal. So ya, I think I’ll be at Doug’s too. Hopefully I’ll see you there. Maybe we can try some more of that Greek beer…

H: That sounds great….but wait….we aren’t friends on FB anymore and you want to drink a beer?

S: Sure. Why not? 

H: Okay…..

S: Okay great. See you Saturday. Bye. 

H: Bye?

 See? Isn’t that brilliant? Aren’t those WTF vibes awesome?

[Sidenote: For those of you studying Friend-zone Attack Countermeasures, do you see how this moves Buyer’s Remorse to your side? This helps make sure your aren’t treated like a can of beans! ]

The friend-zone counter is cool, but obviously the RFBB really shines during an ugly break-up or if you’ve been flat-out dumped. Stopping yourself from stalking your Ex can be a real challenge.

If your online friendship calls for a mushroom cloud, the RFBB is the right technique for you. (Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org)

The Achilles Heel of the traditional block technique is that you, as the blocker, are at liberty to unblock the former friend at your discretion. This is not a good setup on those lonely nights when, dabbling on your computer with a glass of wine, it becomes so easy and tempting to check up on your Ex.

Don’t deny it! We all know you are periodically compelled to cyberstalk your Ex! You know you shouldn’t but you do. In fact, for some of you it is a huge problem! You could resist the urge if only it just wasn’t so damn convenient!

Your poor friends are trying to be supportive, worried about you, trying to understand why you can’t seem to get that person out of your head. Oh how embarrassed you’d be if they they found out you are secretly unblocking them and sneaking little cyberstalk fixes! They would intervene and say, “Aha you dummy! No wonder you can’t let it go!”

We know you do it. Every once and while you have to check, just to make sure that special person hasn’t found someone new.

If Conquistador Cortes were unfriending someone on FB, I'll bet he'd burn ships with the RFBB method .

If Conquistador Cortes were unfriending someone on FB, I’ll bet he’d burn ships with the RFBB method . (Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org)

Be careful! One day soon you are going to have a rude awakening when you visit that profile and your replacement is staring right back at you…looking all happy, smiling with your Ex’s arm around them. Not coincidentally looking all fabulous in just the right ways to launch all your shallow insecurities into stratospheric meltdown orbit!

Why do that to yourself?

The RFBB ensures you will never have to look at the Ex’s new lover. You won’t even know they exists! And because you contact the Ex and insists they block you, you get to be the first to show that you are moving on! Your Ex wants you to see how happy they are, but like an ICBM, you are going to preemptively strike to deny them that satisfaction!

The Reverse Facebook Block: Curing social media heartache. Smooth Reentry’s finest accomplishment. It is a win-win for you, and a big loss for your Ex.

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11 thoughts on “The Reverse Facebook Block

  1. Pingback: Redflagged and Banished to the Friendzone | Smooth ReEntry

  2. Pingback: Smooth’s Friendzone Countermeasures ~ Part 2 | Smooth ReEntry

  3. Pingback: The Art of the Facebook Block | Smooth ReEntry

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    • You can call it petty. I would call it over analysis. But if you have been mind fucked and are trying to shorten your recovery period, this stuff is important. If you have not been mind-fucked, then this would seem very petty.

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