Don’t be a Can of Beans!

Don't be kept on the shelf.

Don’t be kept on the shelf.

The past couple of day’s we’ve discussed advanced tactics to counter friendzone attacks. This covered situations when she tries to banish you to the friendzone. During that series we did not cover scenarios in which the man failed to make a move early.

Why is that scenario so different? Because if you didn’t make a move on the first two dates, you put yourself in the friendzone. She did not banish you to the friendzone–you put yourself there.

This is completely different situation than the circumstances we previously covered.


There should be a firm two date rule. There is zero excuse for not kissing her during the first two dates.

I’ve wracked my brain trying to think of an exception in which the two date rule would not apply. I am so terrified of the friendzone, that I cannot think of a single example that would be exempt from this rule.

But what if she rejects you? — I’ve had it happen to me many a times my friends. If she turns her head away to avoid the kiss it is a still successful exercise, for you just sent her a clear signal that you are interested in her romantically. You left no room for misunderstandings about your intent. It is mission accomplished whether she returns the kiss or not.

I will not belabor the point as there are million blog posts stating that “nice guys finish last”, explaining how it is important to make a move early.


What you have to understand is that women are manipulative. They are not consciously doing this to hurt your life, it is something that happens on the instinctive level. Women like safety. Therefore, they like to keep a man on the hook as a safe backup plan. They like the security of knowing someone is there for them when other endeavors don’t work out. When all else fails, they like having a break glass in case of emergency option, namely, the platonic friend stuck in the friendzone.

Don’t be that guy. Don’t be the trade-in. Don’t be the can of beans on the shelf, collecting dust in case she comes to you as a last resort. Don’t kid yourself, if you are in the friendzone, you are the can of beans stuck on the shelf.


Let’s assume it is too late for you. The Two Date Rule doesn’t help you now as you are already stuck in friendzone hell. I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you here. If it were me, I’d be so frustrated and miserable that I would make a move, or tell her how I felt, or anything…anything would be better than being teased all the time by having her so close yet out of reach. If you try, at least you go down swinging. Trying anything is better than dying a slow certain death. But the chances of success are slim as you have probably lost her respect in that way. It is probably too late for you now. I will post a video at the end that is fairly accurate in describing the only two ways out, and neither are easy.


Let me close by saying I’m not being flippant talking about this. This is not just a Junior High problem. I talk to women frequently who have this problem with men of all ages. I have talked to multiple women who have been on 5 dates or more with men who never tried to kiss them. The woman is confused because he keeps asking her on additional dates, yet he is not making a move. So if you are dealing with this you are not alone. Apparently many men of all ages and phases of life find themselves in this situation.

What do the women think of this? By the third date they have written these men off romantically. Internally, they take it as rejection and mentally move on to more assertive men. Most will assume it is about you not being attracted to them. The thought of a man being attracted to them but too fearful to make a move will not compute in their minds. But they will keep spending time with the man because they want to keep the can of beans on the shelf.

Remember, always kiss her by the second date at the latest. No exceptions! Don’t be a can of beans on the shelf!

6 thoughts on “Don’t be a Can of Beans!

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