The Sadly Ironic Bachelor

Neckties, tissues, love-notes, and self-respect; all things girls on The Bachelor lost down their cleavage this season.

Woe! Slow down a minute–Smooth, YOU watched THE BACHELOR? — Quite possibly the most corny, most cheesy, sappiest, gayest show on the entire planet?

Yes–yes I am saying that I watched The Bachelor this season. I get the irony too.

Ironic observation #1) My life goal is to “reattach my balls” after an emasculating 20 year relationship. Considering the fact I am watching the The Bachelor, I think I may already be off target from achieving testicle reattachment.

Ironic observation #2) I know a past “Bachelor” contestant. I never could make myself watch it when he was on the show. I literally got the hebbie jeebies because the corniness was too much for me. And I got even more heebie jeebies watchign how women fawned over him afterwards. Now I am watching some stranger (Sean Lowe), yet I couldn’t stand to watch when I actually knew the dude.

I actually started watching to help crawl my way out of the friendzone. Believe it or not I have had some success too…so there are ulterior motives at work here beyond my riveting enjoyment of the show.

One thing that is definitely true about The Bachelor: you have to hand it to the shows producers for creating an environment that gives a couple of realistic understanding of how their relationship will work in real life.

Okay, maybe not.

This hurts too much! I don’t know if I will ever love again! One contestant cried. About a man she had never been alone with and only talked to for a few minutes….

The show is a joke and we all know it. Or it would be a joke, except the similarities between The Bachelor and online dating are chilling. Bone chilling.

Line 20 women up, date them at the same time right in front of their faces, and they accept that is the way it is supposed to be. Yes, online dating and The Bachelor have much in common.

I am anxious to watch The Bachelorette to see if the same holds true. I predict it will. When I last dated 20 years ago, dating multiple people at once was not socially accepted. Now it is the norm. I hate it too. I wonder if the culture changed before The Bachelor, of it The Bachelor changed the culture?

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9 thoughts on “The Sadly Ironic Bachelor

  1. True story: a friend-of-a-friend of mine was a contestant on a season of “the Bachelor”. Apparently, they (the crew of the show) keep the contestants (at least the women when it is “the bachelor”) plastered – giving them alcohol from the moment they wake up. The elimination segments are filmed ridiculously late/early so the women are completely sloshed and, in, turn much more dramatic.

    the next time you watch the show, pay close attention to see if there is a clock on-screen. they film at un-Godly hours.

    Also, the “castle” that they stay in? The contestants are only there for filming.

    There is more reality in a soap-opera than in any “reality” show.

    • I don’t know about “addictive”. It definitely helps with small talk with the ladies though. And, obviously I can relate to it more now that I am in the world of online dating.

      I can’t say which former bachelor I know without pigeon holing my real identity. We are not best buddies or anything anyway…

  2. I remember watching this show when it first aired and thinking, “How can those women tolerate fooling around with him and knowing he’s fooling around like 10 other women simultaneously?” If only I had known….

    You’re absolutely right – this has become the new dating reality. The problem is that most people have learned to simply deal with it. I absolutely fucking hate it.

    The only difference with the Bachelor is that the guy actually proposes to one. Not quite the case with real world dating. Real world dating is like a never-ending episode of the Bachelor.
    Great post!!

  3. Pingback: Smooth’s Rules Put to Test | Smooth ReEntry

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