Steak or Threesome Part IX: Epilogue

lightning-in-a-bottle-400x260This is the final post in the Steak or Threesome series. Click here to start at the beginning.

To say I am disappointed that the threesome didn’t happen is the understatement of the century. I was SO CLOSE. I had it within reach, yet it only teased me and slipped out of my grasp right before my very eyes. It is torture to think about how close I was really.

WHERE THEY ARE NOW

What happened next in the story? After a while Bambi finally spoke. She said, “I want to go home”. Therefore, we took Bambi home. Immediately. I drove Bambi’s car and Thumper followed me in her’s. We tucked Babmi in, let her little rat dog outside to pee, put the dog in bed with Bambi. Then Thumper and I drove back to her place.

That was it. I never saw Bambi again. I called her the next day to make sure she was okay, but after that I never talked to her again. Believe me, I tried. But she went dark on me.

Thumper was pissed that night. She was madder than I was actually. But after a couple of days she settled down. She has nothing do to with Bambi anymore. She thinks she is a total flake, and her opinion is backed up by plenty of not-sordid evidence not involving this story.

Thumper and I are no longer FWB. Not long after this night Thumper fell for someone who is a good long term fit for her. Apparently the new boyfriend is not keen on Thumper continuing to talk to me. And if he knew the things I had done to his girlfriend, I am fairly sure that his head would explode…so I understand. I can’t honestly say  I would feel any different were I in his shoes. So I no longer have any meaningful contact with Thumper.

WILL I TRY AGAIN?

I would say the chances of this group ever having the chance at a do-over is 0.0%. It’s not going to happen.

Will I try with different girls? I will try, but I don’t think I will succeed. I am too picky and too much of a germaphobe to find two women that meet my standards. Assuming I were lucky enough to catch lightening in a bottle again, and find two women that are clean yet adventurous enough to do it again, the chances of them being emotionally synced at the same time so that the deed can be done are slim to none.  That is one of the lessons from this experience. Women change their minds all the fucking time. Even if you get two that are willing to do it, you have a long way to go before you cross the finish line. A lot of shit has to come together, and I cannot even begin to think of all the pitfalls and landmines standing in the way.  Women are emotional creatures. It is the reason they drive us men so crazy.

I was reading the blog of a married couple that has successfully done a threesome. They got into “the lifestyle” because she happened to have a single bisexual friend. Little did the husband know at the time, but he struck gold right out of the gate. They have diligently tried to repeat that performance for over ten years now, and have yet to find another unicorn.

Threesomes are fun to think about, but next to impossible to do for regular guys like me.

HINDSIGHT

Could I have done anything different to have a better result? I see two possible mistakes:

1) The Vodka. At one point in the evening, at Bambi’s request, I started adding vodka to the drinks so that the drinks would have more kick. It is possible that she was a lightweight, and if I had to do it over again I would not make her drinks so strong. But I must say that Thumper weighs less than Bambi, and drank at least as much, yet her head wasn’t conked out on the table or anything close to it. So I am not sure less vodka would have lead to a better result. Based on what I knew then, I don’t think I should do anything different. Based on what I know now, I would have definitely used less Vodka.

But if Bambi were truly as wasted as she pretended to be, she would have felt terrible when I called her at her work the next day. She sounded fine and said she felt fine. I think it was less about the alcohol and more about some baggage she has with another man in her life.

2) The Steaks. I should have let those beloved fucking steaks burn until they looked like hockey pucks on the grill!

When I walked in and Thumper was fingering Bambi and they were both into it, that was my opportunity. I should have thrown the game plan out the window, called an audible, and gone with the flow. It is so obvious now. I was an idiot.

Those were some damn good steaks, but they weren’t that good. It is a lot easier to cook the perfect steaks than to find another unicorn. I can promise you that.

I had the choice between a steak or a threesome, and I chose steak. What would you have done?

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4 thoughts on “Steak or Threesome Part IX: Epilogue

  1. Pingback: Steak or Threesome Part VIII: C-3PO | Smooth ReEntry

  2. Pingback: Thumper Power - Bravo 6 35052

  3. I really loved reading this story and appreciate you writing it down! I guess it’s not easy to share such intimate details…To me it just shows how difficult situations are when you are in them. While reading this, I just wanted to shout “Forget about the steaks!” – but I can imagine how overwhelming this whole experience must have been, and when you’re in the middle of this situation doesn’t seem all that clear. And basically, that’s like life in general, isn’t it? I am stuck in a bit of a complicated situation at the moment and friends give me lots of well-meant advice and a lot of “told you so”s, like for them it’s so easy to judge from the outside. But when you’re the one to handle the situation, well, it’s more complex and emotional and simply overwhelming sometimes! And you just don’t know which decision leads to what. Who could have expected this to happen? Sometimes just little things lead to everything falling apart…

    Sorry for the philosophical outburst 🙂

    • You are absolutely right. Sometimes when you are too close to a situation it is hard to see the obvious. There are lessons here for threesomes and for life. A wise man once said, “Opportunity never knocks at a convenient time”. I need to be more flexible with many aspects of my life…

      Thank you for the thoughtful comment!

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