Steak or Threesome Part IV: Chevron Six Locked

StargateThis is Part 4 in the story of the time I had to choose between a steak or a threesome. If you missed it, here are links to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

After kissing Bambi, I adjourn to the kitchen to make another round of Red Headed Sluts, this time spiking with vodka. My brain was thinking, “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. This is really happening, this is really happening, this is really happening. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit…

You have to remember that I entered into this mission impossible thinking it would never come together. I felt I had to TRY of course–after all, it is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Granted, this is not the most noble of quests. Women will not understand this but perhaps some male readers will. The chance of success was very small, but I had to try because if I happened to hit the jackpot, it is a major bucket list homerun. Again, not the most noble of goals, but I tell you earning such a distinction commands respect from your fellow man. Seriously, many failures in my life would be overlooked by having such a huge feather in my cap. Not that I would ever tell a single person (and I have not!), but dammit, I would know. I would know that I succeeded where most had failed.

So I knew I had to try. But I never held out any real hope that this might all come together and actually happen. A FMF threesome just doesn’t happen for guys like me–especially not with gorgeous women like Thumper and Bambi. This shit is supposed to happen in Penthouse only. This is stuff people read and laugh about how fake it is. Yet there I was–mixing another round of Red Headed Sluts for the hot brunette and redhead in the next room. I could clearly hear their jovial laughter in the in the next room. I could plainly see their lipstick marks on the glasses I was refilling. This was not a dream. At the time I was thinking, “This is really fucking happening. And it is happening right now…Holyshit, holyshit, holyshit…”

MULTI-TASKING

Also remember, at this point I am trying to cook the world’s best steaks on the charcoal grill, cook asparagus and twice baked potatoes in the kitchen, and bartend. I also remind you that I am a man. Men suck at multi-tasking in the best of conditions. When we are drunk, have hot women in the next room, and think we are about to fulfill the ultimate fantasy of a FMF threesome, effective multi-tasking becomes next to impossible.

The next part of the story is so surreal and dreamlike it will be hard to describe. I could never reconstruct the play-by-play in linear fashion. My drunk head was spinning at the whole situation, but there are vivid moments etched in my memory that seem so surreal now. I actually feel guilty sharing this salacious story in this fashion because aspects of it seem so despicable as I retell it now. [Now that I am not drunk with desire and booze.] But at the time I had none of these mixed emotions. The girls and I were all swept away in the moment and having the times of our lives. I feel compelled to get this story on paper should I ever want to reflect on it one day.

As I walked back and forth from the kitchen to the den it was like I am stepping through an interdenominational portal into another world. A world in where the forbidden things men dare to dream of can become reality. A world in which a dork like me can actually seem cool.

YOU HAVE A GO

Stargate! That is what it felt like, Stargate. One minute I am in the kitchen, then I step into the puddle and SHWOOORRRP–I instantly travel through a wormhole into a completely different world. It was only Thumper’s den, but it felt like I had traveled to a different world. A world where the laws of nature on our planet do not apply . A world where my eyes could hardly believe what they were seeing.

Thank goodness I took pictures. Otherwise I really would wonder if all this was just a dream.

To be continued

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One thought on “Steak or Threesome Part IV: Chevron Six Locked

  1. Pingback: Steak or Threesome Part III: It Begins | Smooth ReEntry

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