When To Become Facebook Friends?

question-du-jour-210506Men, assume you are flirting with a woman on an online dating site. Things are going well but she is on the fence about meeting you. Is it a good tactic to become Facebook friends so that she can be reassured you aren’t a creeper? If so, what are the risks?

Note: I have my settings set so that new friends aren’t automatically posted in the newsfeed, and things cannot be posted to my wall without approval (without being moderated). However, it seems that I’ve read somewhere that giving out FB info is a big no-no. I just can’t think through why. I mean, FB friends can be removed as easily as they were added, so I don’t understand the risks….What am I missing here?

UPDATE: Click here for great article that discusses this.

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8 thoughts on “When To Become Facebook Friends?

  1. Don’t do it. I kinda think that FB is the root of all evil (and I’m only half joking about that). Too much can be ‘read into’ photos, comments, whatever. Plus, I certainly wouldn’t accept a FB friend request from someone that I hadn’t actually met yet and I actually hold off a fairly long time before even considering it. Although you may feel that you’re just giving her insight into who you are, she may feel that you’re being intrusive or indeed a *gasp* stalker.

    I think FB is best left for after things start to develop. She should know from your online profile, your pictures and your correspondence/phone calls/texts ‘who’ you are without having to risk the iffy ‘wanna be FB friends’.

    Just my 2 cents 😉

    • Wow. Story of my dating life thus far. Try to give her full information to ease concerns, and she twists that into me being a stalker. Sounds about right actually. Makes no logical sense, but that pretty much is the logic of some out there. Thank you for pointing that out! This is why this blog is beautiful! Insight into the mind of the opposite sex…valuable stuff!

  2. Personally, I really feel it depends on the guy. What I do like about sometimes adding them on Facebook is you get to see how they communicate with their friends and the type of pictures they upload. Sometimes I’ve been incredibly surprised how different it was talking to them back and forth through an online dating site versus the language they used on their Facebook.

    If you do add them to Facebook is it important to have all your limited profile settings in place. Make sure they can’t see any of your contact info and limit how much else they can see.

  3. don’t do ittttt! I think facebook is so personal. I don’t want somebody I haven’t met knowing where I’ve been recently (people become stalkers lol), what people I hang out with, or even misunderstanding the relationships I have with certain people. Also, I feel that social media takes the fun out of getting to know somebody since the information is already out there.

    And…this may sound harsh, but I don’t know if I’d be interested in talking to somebody that’s “on the fence” about meeting me. If it’s online dating, you should be willing to go out and meet people you’ve been talking to. I don’t want to feel like I need to convince somebody into meeting me in person. Ya know? It’s like, you either want to meet me or not. Simple as that.

  4. I say no Facebook until you’re at the stage where you’re at least close to becoming a couple. I say this, and now watch me go and break it sometime soon and try to come up with some reason why. lol.

  5. Man, I don’t know Single Guy and dsantos…I am such a social media addict that their online persona is relevant to me. I think I have to see their profile WAY before I even think about becoming a couple…

  6. For me it is after the second date, assuming you have agreed you want to meet again. If they wish to swap phone numbers that is usually a good indication that it is time to FB too

  7. Pingback: Origins of the Liebster Award | Smooth ReEntry

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