Facebook: The Anti-Social Network.

120517074006-facebook-logo-illustration-walking-story-topThis is a rant…

OkCupid has a new site called Tallygram. Tallygram is a fairly cool app. It plugs in to Facebook and let’s you answer questions similar to OKC. I  enjoy comparing my answers to other FB users, and examining the corresponding friend/enemy percentages. [Incidentally, since I eat meat and like dogs over cats, I am the mortal enemy of the vast majority of Tallygram users.]

The thing is, Tallygram isn’t necessarily for dating. Here is what OKC said about it with the initial email:

It’s called Tallygram.
It’s a better way to surf Facebook.
For people you’re already friends with, Tallygram is a fun game to get to know them better.
For people you’re not friends with, Tallygram lets you discover new people you should know — friends of friends and beyond.
Ultimately, Tallygram shows how compatible you actually are with people from your friends circle.

Tallygram is timely for me. One of the problems with being on my own after 18 years is that most of my friends are couples, and they are used to hanging with me as a part of a couple. Now these friend-couples don’t know how to act around me. It is awkward for them, and it is definitely awkward for me. Therefore, I’m trying to meet new people, and get plugged in to new friend networks.  Tallgram seems perfect.

So what the hell, I thought, I’ll give Tallygram a shot.

But me being me, I pushed it too far. After reading peoples’ answers I would check out their FB profiles. [And fuck yes, I am way more likely to check out their FB profiles if they are female.] I even sent out some friend requests. Why not? It is fun to have interesting FB friends. I am particularly biased toward FB friends that post interesting pictures. So I sent out around five friend requests to basically total strangers I found on Tallygram.

At this point I should emphasize that they signed up for Tallygram, a service that “let’s you discover new people you should know“.

Four out of the five accepted my friend request. That turned out rather well because one was from Rhode Island and I thoroughly enjoyed her commentary during Winter Storm Nemo.

Here comes the kicker that by now you’ve guessed is coming…


I log in the next morning and BOOM! I get this heart warming nastygram that says “Friend Request Blocked for 7 Days”.

WHAT THE FUCK? I’m getting in trouble for networking on a social networking site?

I feel like I am in school again and the whole class is getting punished because the asshole in the back of the room is throwing spitballs. I hate feeling like I am being punished when I didn’t do anything wrong.

Some chick made her FB information public, answered questions on Tallygram, got a friend request from someone who used said site for it’s intended purpose, and then she spams me as if I did something wrong? Why not just click “not now” to the friend request? Instead she went through the trouble to report me? WTF?

I feel baited and switched.

And why is Facebook not asking this chick the same questions prior to banning me?

It may not even be a person that clicked “report/block”. It might be Facebook has some internal algorithm designed to catch people who send friend requests to people without mutual friends. In fact, now that I think of it, during Nemo, AT MY MOTHER’s SUGGESTION, I did look up some old friends, that I KNOW IN REAL LIFE, and friend requested them so that I could see entertaining pics of mini-vans under snow, etc…

That’s right FB–my 70 year old mother is screwing up your site. How? By having the audacity to network on a social networking site.

My family is full of trouble making rebels it seems. Yep. Wanting to see snow pictures from old friends makes us giant assholes that gets us 86ed from Facebook.

I am very understanding of Facebook setting limits to keep it from becoming junked up like MySpace. I totally get it. If I sent out 100 friend requests in a night to people I don’t know, then I am completely understanding of that. But this seems over the top.

I did a search to see if I am the only one having a problem like this. I found a blog post from a guy who sent friend request to distant cousins for a family reunion. (ie, he was SOCIAL NETWORKING). He was banned.

I found an online petition with hundreds of signatures from people in the same boat. Unfortunately, the most outspoken are the guys with shirtless avatars declaring,  “ya man, that is a bunch of bullshit getting blocked and stuff”.I didn’t sign the petition because I don’t want to be associated with those people. They are the spitball throwing assholes in the back of the room all grown up.

Bottom line, Facebook needs to tweak it’s algorithm. I could fill out a feedback form on their site so that they “can help make my experience better”. Ya, I’m pretty sure that feedback would go into a big black hole never to return. I think I’ll blog about the subject instead.

Why am I so fired up about this? Because right after FB banned me I checked my OKC messages. I got a nice message from a blond attorney. She said that she was taking a break from the online dating thing [we’ve all been there!], but to look her up on FB.

Woah! Connect with her on FB with her real name and everything! Translation: She is burned out on the OKC BS and all the online dating games, but I seem not sketchy to her, so she would like to stay in touch. In other words, unless I did something boneheaded, I WAS IN.

Only I can’t fucking walk through the door because Facebook has blocked me from sending friend request! And she has deleted her OKC profile! I am just teased. DAMN YOU FACEBOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!

See below for more VERY RECENT stories about Facebook, The Anti-Social Network.


8 thoughts on “Facebook: The Anti-Social Network.

  1. Do you think that FB blocked you, or that one of the people you friend requested complained? I only asked because I’ve sent friend requests to total strangers through the various games on Facebook and not gotten blocked like that. Weird…

    • I don’t know what caused it. Both are possibilities and FB doesn’t say for certain the reason. I too am friends with gamers and have never had a problem, so that makes me believe someone reported me. Which, again, why the hell would they be on Tallygram if they are that paranoid?

      Some women are online dating sites just to get fodder for how awful men are. So I suppose some women are on social networking sites for the same reason too. IDK…

    • Algorithms and data corruption. That is 90% of the wold’s problems right there. That is what I’ll tell myself tonight anyway. Denial is so much easier than self awareness at times…

  2. Update: My seven days are up so I sent a friend request to blond attorney. At FB’s advice, I sent a message to her reminding her of who I am and why I am sending her a friend request. Here is the thing: Facebook charged me $1 to send the message! This is a new way they are getting revenue apparently–to charge to send message to people you aren’t already connected with.

    Also, if you haven’t already done so, you should check your “other” box in FB messages. I had some messages that were legit. And that makes me how many messages I’ve sent that are wasting away like that…

  3. Pingback: IN the middle | Spread Information

  4. Facebook is a venue that allows the timid and weak to exploit the gregarious and exuberant by using the heart led posts of the forward, seeking connection to others, to be twisted into distortions of motive and even outright lies because this forum is a perfect cover to hide and slander without having to reveal the jealousy of themselves and overtly discourage the real desire to connect with others of your own choice with no purpose other than to see in print themselves as victor in a fight which never existed. Write letters with your own hand’; be patient and wait for a reply. Hold in your hand the paper which the one who cares for you touched and feel the reality of that which has always been known as loving correspondence between people of chosen friendship where said words are what they are; the same as if you were face to face with the person. You / I/We are NOT facing each other on “facebook”. It is an advertising business to make money for some guy with a drooping lower lip in California. Talk. FIGHT. Hit someone upside the head with a sponge(not a brick) but whatever you do let it be to each other with love for the other person first and the demand for justice for what they did to you next. Not easy! NOPE! DO IT ANYWAY and forget Wastebook. These people use what you write on their website to be used by EVERYONE who will consider you for hire, the price of your auto insurance, the fitness of your person as a parent in legal situations…………. WAKE UP ! This is not CHAT! It is information that is compiled, tracked and USED to make decisions about YOUR LIFE! Facebook is not innocuous. They are ACTIVE in the collection, distribution and dissemination of information about EVERYONE who uses social media as a casual media to “stay in touch with friends”. Use these sites judiciously with what you say and how it is said. I am not sending out an alarm. I am saying “USE YOUR HEAD” . A dude I used to work with at a Concrete plant used to say…. ” don start nothing wont be nothing” It is true. Keep your mind and heart safe by keeping your secrets, fears, odd thoughts, and imaginations OFF OF FACEBOOK!

  5. Pingback: IN the middle | Madeline Scribes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s