This morning I read a post titled, “The Worst Things to Do on a First Date“. What is number one on the list? Getting coffee!
Naturally I read this article shortly after scheduling a coffee date with a woman I’d really like to impress. [Murphy’s Law strikes again!] My date is scheduled for Starbucks no less, which the author poo-poos as depressing.
The quality of dating advice on the blogosphere varies tremendously. [By “varies tremendously”, what I really mean is that most of it is complete and total garbage.] But I have to say that B lays down some sage wisdom on itsnotamatch.com . I generally pick up what he puts down. But I’m questioning his opinion on the coffee date.
The coffee date, to me, is used to screen women that can’t be prequalfied via email and phone. For example, many women list their body type as “average” or “athletic”. What does that mean? — It typically means whatever they want it to mean in their head with no objective definition at all.
The best solution I can think of for this dilemma is have a quick date. Like–grabbing coffee during the work day. You have a built in excuse to get out of there, namely, having to go back to work. If it doesn’t work out then you have had to endure 15 minutes of awkwardness. But you have minimized your losses by not spending too much time and money with someone that you know isn’t going to pan out.
Coffee dates are the sorties of dating. Get in, get out, mission accomplished.
Granted, I like to have some liquid courage when meeting a stranger. Things seem to go much smoother with adult beverages involved. But who grabs a quick beer before they head back to the office? There is no built in loss mitigation with a “just grab a drink after work” date. It’s after work. You can’t look at your watch and say “Oh look at the time” and act like you are late for something important. If you do, you will look like the BSer you are.
Ladies, When the guy says he is 5’9” on his profile, does that mean with his Al Pacino-like shoes, or without? There is only one way to find out. You need a quick sortie date to check him out with your own eyes.
The bottom line is that many times I need to see people with my own eyes before I am confident committing to a “real” date, such as dinner. The coffee date is the best quick date idea I’ve got. If there are better sortie date ideas out there please share the wisdom!
What are your thoughts on the coffee date? Has anyone discovered a better quick sortie date alternative than coffee?