Seeing you is still hard. I mean it’s good in a way too, but it hurts. Not the kind of hurt that involves any blame. Just sadness and heartache. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to do it.
I wonder how many years it will take before that stops?
It is always going to hurt to one degree or another. What you choose now will decide how much it hurts going forward.
If you don’t come to Georgia you will never know what you gave up. Maybe you want to be the ostrich on this one, but if it was me I would have to know. If you blow it off for now, then one day, when you least expect it, you will be haunted by not knowing. It will absolutely haunt you to the core. Not knowing what you lost will be one of your greatest regrets. It will be the type of wound that will never heal.
It will be like throwing out lottery tickets with the trash. They announce the winning number, but no one shows to claim the prize. So you start to wonder: Oh God! maybe I had the winning ticket and threw it out with the trash! Your brain knows that the chances are slim, but damn! You never know until you know. You think about it, and think about it…and think about it some more. Now they have drawn a new number and it is too late to find the tickets, but, strangely, now you want to know what you had even more. Not knowing is gnawing at your brain!
Then one day you open your junk drawer and there they are…the tickets you thought you had thrown out with the trash are sitting there looking right at you. They were hidden under an old envelope the whole time.
Your panic starts to rise. Do you look? If so, what will you find? Your heart is beating as you hurriedly think through the possibilities:
- What if I never had the winning ticket in the first place? Then you will finally confirm that your brain was right, the odds were too long. You never had a winning ticket to begin with. Once you know that for an absolute fact you will finally have closure. You can finally stop worrying about those damn lottery tickets and concentrate on more important things in your life!
- What if the winning ticket was sitting right here all along? This is the scariest thought of all! You will never be able to live with yourself if you had the winning ticket all along! But maybe there is a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you can find a way to use them. Maybe a lawyer can find a loophole so that you will still be able to get something! But that is just wishful thinking—you know having the winning ticket won’t do you any good now. Will it?
- Do I even want to look? Maybe you shouldn’t even look! Nothing can be done to change things now. You should just throw them out with the trash for real this time. Throw them out without even looking. You will be able to live with yourself just fine not knowing. Won’t you?
You found the old lottery tickets today Suzy Ann. Are you really going to throw them out without looking? You finally have the chance to see what you had. This isn’t a dream. This isn’t “trying your best” with no results. This isn’t fantasy or empty promises. The opportunity is sitting right in you hand. Staring you in the face. You spent so much time thinking about it…and now you have the opportunity to find out the truth once and for all! Are just going to let this chance slide you by? Can you really throw it in the trash without truly understanding what you had?
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