Single Ladies, I humbly assert that there are four types of men in your dating life. They are:
- The Full Package
- Mr. No-Commit
- Mr. Trade-In
- Mr. Upgrade
THE FULL PACKAGE
This is what you are after ladies. The man of your dreams. Your Knight in Shining Armor. Your needle in a haystack. The guy that understands you. The one who is both strong and tender. Firm and soft. The one you can take home to Momma in the morning, and who can be the bad boy rebel at night. He knows what you want before you know what you want. He is all that and a bag of chips…etc…etc…etc….
I originally was going to call this guy the Fairy Tale, because you are only going to find him at the Magic Kingdom. However, I thought better of going that far. Such a statement is overly pessimistic. The Full Package doesn’t have to be perfect, he only has to be right for you. For the purposes of this article, The Full Package is a man worthy of a long term commitment from you, and is willing to commit similarly to you. That’s it. You two are synced on emotions, expectations, and goals.
For the purposes of the relationship evaluation tool, finding The Full Package is the ultimate goal. The finish line if you will. He is the reason why you put up with all this dating shit. I am assuming that no woman who has already found The Full Package is reading this article, otherwise you would be reading something more interesting. That leaves three other types of men you are dating.
Mr. No-Commit aka Fool’s Full Package aka Faux Full Package. Behind your back your friends call him The Asshole or The Player.
This guy is everything you want in a man. The only problem is, the feeling isn’t mutual. He isn’t going to tell you the feeling isn’t mutual–he is just going to avoid the subject. Oh, you want this guy to be The Full Package so bad! He is everything you want! Maybe if you wait he will come around!
Waiting, in a nutshell, is the worst possible thing you can do. Because more likely than not, he isn’t going to come around. Your friends know this. They just can’t get you to see it. They think you are getting played.
Maybe it is a natural fear of commitment–it is just part of what comes with our Y chromosome. But more likely than not, the ugly truth is he is just not that in to you.
Warning: Do not try to fix Mr. No-Commit! Hazardous results will occur!
Mr. Trade-In aka FWB aka Dick in a Box aka Dick on Call. aka Insurance Policy.
This is the guy that you like to hang with, and don’t want to give up, but he just doesn’t rock your world the way you think a man should. You spend too much time around this guy and his little habits start to annoy you. But he is low pressure and low maintenance…kind of like that paid-off car you had. The one that provided you with reliable transportation. There was nothing WRONG with it exactly…it just wasn’t exciting anymore. It didn’t excite you but you didn’t want to take on the commitment of a new car payment either. You drove that thing around for a couple of years before you finally upgraded…
Mr. Upgrade aka Next Best Thing aka NBT. Should technically be called Mr. Potential Upgrade, because you aren’t fully confident he is upgrade material until you know more. I mean, he looks great now–they all do when they are new on the lot–but you don’t want to trade your reliable ride in until you can be confident this one is going to last a while.
Mr. Upgrade has potential. But you need to know more. You know not to impulsively take men home like a new pair of shoes.
Tomorrow we will discuss these types of men when answering the question, “How many men can should you juggle at the same time?”.