Oh Shat! A Shatner App!

I am such an impulsive SOB. I saw this post about an iPhone app called Shatoetry. It took me approximately 10 seconds before I was downloading the app. My brain almost exploded from pressure after being instantly filled with all the bizarre and sarcastic things I could make William Shatner say. How fucking cool was this going to be?

But, much like the toy commercials that lure my kids in all the time, the actual product falls short of my expectations. It does everything one could realistically expect it to do–so I should know better. As anyone with common sense who is not an impulsive SOB could figure out on their own, there is limited vocabulary to choose from. You are provided eight words or so to choose from at a time–you do not get to pick any words you want. If you think about it, that makes perfect sense.

But for a few moments in time I was hopeful that I could get The Shat to say what I wanted him to say. What follows are the instant brain storm ideas I had before I actually saw the app. How cool would it be if William Shatner could say the following?:

NOTE: Imagine William Shatner’s voice when you are reading these!


“She who reads mommy porn on WordPress, must keep fresh batteries close at hand.”

“Go to sleep with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.”

“Mind and body don’t get along at all.”

“Viagra for the sprint, Cialis for the marathon.”

“Weakness makes us strong.”


Bloggers cry for help

Silence can be deafening

Only cats remain


Q: Where is the bathroom?

A: Do not end sentences with preposition.

Q: Where is bathroom asshole?

Poetic Joke

Dog licks himself.

I wish I could do that.

Dog would bite me

What would you like William Shatner to say for you?

2 thoughts on “Oh Shat! A Shatner App!

  1. Pingback: Shatner Texting « Smooth ReEntry

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