The Paramour Clause Revisted

decree/ dissolution

decree/ dissolution (Photo credit: hmmlargeart)

It’s in the judge’s hands now. The divorce agreement is signed, sealed, and delivered to the court.

Now we are waiting for my state’s 30 day “cooling off” period to expire. The cooling off period makes couples wait thirty days before divorces are made official. Theoretically, this gives spouses time to “cool off”before make important decisions are finalized.

What’s next? There are two possibilities: 1) I will receive a divorce decree in the mail in about a month, or 2) My wife’s co-workers have stirred up a gossipy shit-storm, causing me all kinds of complications that will have royally screwed up my life by the time this post publishes.

I told you that the paramour clause and getting busted were related.

All along my brain knew the smart thing to do was to wait until the divorce is final before dating. I mean, I waited 18 years, why not wait a few more months? A wise man would have listened to his brain.

Not that there is anything ethically wrong with dating while separated, but I’ve always known that hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned. Immoral or not, I knew that if my wife became pissed that I was dating, it would complicate my divorce. That is why the smart move was to wait until the divorce was final before dating.

However, as has been documented on this blog from the beginning, I was about to lose my mind. I felt so suffocated and had to start moving forward before I completely lost it. Basically, I made the conscious decision to be a dumbass and date. I really have no fucking self discipline sometimes.

In the wake of getting busted, I decided to hurry and sign the divorce agreement before my wife’s coworkers had a chance to gossip about seeing me and my date together.

It was a no brainer decision for me. I knew, standing by those trash dumpsters that Saturday night, that my next move was to hurry and sign the agreement. And that is precisely what I did. I signed it, sloppily worded paramour clause and all. My wife will essentially have de facto veto powers over much of my dating life until I decide to remarry.

Only time will tell if the trade off is worth it, and if I made the right decision or not.

In the meantime, for the next thirty days I will be on pins and needles waiting to see what happens. All my wife has to do is make a phone call to her attorney to have the divorce filing withdrawn. Logic would have nothing to do with it, it would all be about the woman scorned…

9 thoughts on “The Paramour Clause Revisted

  1. Ahh. The STBX claimed she wanted to file, but never did; so I filed instead. i just got her “settlement proposal” from my lawyer. it’s exactly the same as the one she had written up when we split.

  2. I have no fucking self discipline sometimes…. I wonder if this is why that Paramour Clause is so important to your ex? Hang in there. All I can tell you is that eventually the fury subsides. Today I hung out on the soccer field with my ex’s girlfriend and talked about vibrators…

    • I have a long way to go before I can talk about sex with my wife’s BF! She doesn’t have one openly BTW–just saying I know I am not ready for that….

      It is important to her because she is rigid in her moral beliefs, and is very black and white in her thinking. Again, the things I love about her the most is the things that drive me the craziest!

      As I type I could be divorced. It is weird not knowing!

  3. Pingback: Staying on Target: Why I Blog | Smooth ReEntry

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